By: Katy David
“In 2016, I was depressed and having anxiety attacks. When faced with the normal stress of life, my responses were outsized and didn’t fit the situation. I knew I needed to change but I didn’t know how. My relationships suffered. I wasn’t living my values, and I took on responsibility for other peoples’ feelings.
When I first met with Katy, I told her I wanted new and better tools to cope with life’s challenges. I would say Katy delivered exactly what I requested, but that’s not quite true. She didn’t give me new tools; she patiently stayed with me and offered suggestions that, over time, revealed to me that I possessed the tools all along. Not only that, but I also knew how to use them.
It sounds like the simplest thing, and yet it was some of the deepest and most profound work I’ve ever done. Identifying trauma triggers feels dangerous. It takes a lot of bravery to face truths that have been hidden away for so long. It’s not easy to admit internalizing shameful messages. The good news is that Katy genuinely wants her clients to grow. Her practice is grounded in proven scientific evidence about the way the human nervous system functions. Her approach is client-led.
A word of caution for anyone considering entering into a therapeutic relationship with Katy: you will undergo a tremendous personal change that you cannot reverse, even when it may feel convenient or expedient.
Since leaving Katy’s care, I am keenly aware of a superpower I possess. My superpower is in knowing exactly what I value, and knowing when I am living by my values. My superpower is that I feel my emotions inside my body. I identify where and how I feel them, and I listen to the information those emotions communicate. My superpower is that I exercise healthy boundaries. I know that when I do, healthy people respect and appreciate those boundaries.
Once I committed to living life by my deepest and truest values, mistrusting my instincts became impossible. Once I decided to feel my emotions (no matter how uncomfortable) and allow them to communicate their deepest needs, I could no longer ignore them. And most difficult, once I began exercising healthy boundaries, I stopped accepting sub-par behavior from people in my life no matter how long they’d been a colleague, a relative, or a friend.
Difficult and awkward conversations are still difficult and awkward; the difference is I have a superpower, and I can confidently, lovingly, and firmly speak my truth without being responsible for anyone else’s feelings or reactions. By no longer taking on other peoples’ drama and traumas, I am open to rich relationships with healthy people. Healthy people love healthy boundaries. Best of all, after working with Katy, I have a loving and trusting relationship with myself. It’s non-negotiable. I move forward in life shining the light of love and abundance everywhere I go.